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A Knife and a Halo by ~MarshmallowDust:iconMarshmallowDust:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




A smile set to beguile and
   defile into exile,
erstwhile,
  a cigarette meant to offset
       the regret of the brunette.
But it was kismet.
   The sunset,
         The duet and the sweat.
A halo all aglow,
  ready to give the deathblow
    that will echo and follow like a shadow
that you should have long ago outgrown.
A knife, the user rife with strife.
  A lowlife, living a hard life.
She lies, hardly lifelike; surrounded by the
          remnants of her existence,
sadly boiled down to a knife, a halo, a cigarette, and a smile.
©2005-2009 ~MarshmallowDust
:iconmarshmallowdust:

Author's Comments

Full title: A knife, a halo, a cigarette, and a smile.

Comments


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:iconvengefulpuppet:
~VengefulPuppet Aug 29, 2005, 2:18:01 PM
You are so awesome. Seriously. Rich and fullfilling; this is the chocolate cake of poetry.

--
"With Hell's heart, I stab at thee!"
-Herman Melville
:iconmarshmallowdust:
~MarshmallowDust Aug 29, 2005, 2:21:30 PM
:thanks: :D

--
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W.C. Fields
:iconagentkitty007:
~agentkitty007 Aug 29, 2005, 2:44:35 PM
I loved the rhyme schematics of this poem....everyone should have schematics and you DO my friend...you do. I want to know your motivation and inspiration for writing this poem...but I am left with a feeling that I'll never know. Alas, it was brilliantly written..for reals. I am actually kind of jealous...I hope you are satisfied, "Karen"! lol...

:nod: :worship: :stupidme: :backstab:
:iconmarshmallowdust:
~MarshmallowDust Aug 29, 2005, 2:53:06 PM
If you knew why I wrote it you would be really disappointed. I'll tell you on msn, because it's stupid and I'd like to have anyone else that reads it think I'm really deep and that this has inner meaning beyond comprehension. Which it does...by the way...*cough*.

--
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W.C. Fields
:iconcelledamage:
~celledamage Sep 21, 2005, 8:24:40 AM
wow! this is a wonderful piece of writing. great flow + imagery. i love it. +fav

--
"Celebrate, carbonate
Lackadaisical love
Cause it's just us in all our rust:
Beautiful, horrible..."
:iconmarshmallowdust:
~MarshmallowDust Sep 21, 2005, 10:07:51 AM
Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. :XD:

--
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W.C. Fields
:iconphoenixtx:
~phoenixtx Nov 15, 2005, 11:52:32 PM
the rhyming in this piece worked really well (and i must say, i like the addition of kismet: one of my favorite words, hardly ever used). however - you have "life" and "strife" together. personally, i think the poem would come off a bit stronger if you substituted something else for one of those words, as they both exceedingly commonly used together.

--
found religion inside myself
i drank the blood, the flesh was stale
:iconmarshmallowdust:
~MarshmallowDust Nov 16, 2005, 2:08:17 PM
I :heart: kismet. And you're right about 'life' and 'strife', I'll shop around for a better combination when I revise it. Thanks a lot for the comment, I really appriciate it.

--
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W.C. Fields
:iconamon-rukh:
~Amon-Rukh Dec 19, 2005, 10:19:24 AM
Cool--you can almost feel the drumbeat to this; it'd make a good rap. I wish it were longer. It ends just when you really get going....

--
Everything I ever needed to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
:iconchampoi:
!Champoi Dec 19, 2005, 10:27:46 AM
This is good. The rhyming was slick, though too slick in certain spots, but slick all the same. I don't know if you were searching after a while for words! This was good, though. Ambigious, but good.
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